Reality

I remember when I was a little girl. I had trouble sleeping because at night, alone in the dark, I would fret. I remember breaking into tears one night imagining what it would be like if either of my parents died. I decided right then never to think of it again...it was too painful. I must have been about 9 or so.

I've been lucky to live a healthy life so far and my parents have been healthy as well so it's been easy to keep the "what ifs" on the backburner and not have to face the fact that they, just like everyone else, are human. Now confronted with my father's own mortality, I feel as though I need an outlet - it's hard to talk to anyone face to face, so I am hoping this blog can serve as some sort of therapy and help me through some of the rougher patches.

So here is a short history:

3 weeks ago my mom called me from the emergency room. She said dad had lifted an air conditioner (he's 68 and just had his knee replaced so he should NOT be doing that) and hurt his back so badly it was making him feel sick. They were worried that he may have given himself an aneurysm in his stomach. He was getting CAT Scan when she called. They are in a small town in Iowa, so once the CAT scan was done, they had to email the scans to Iowa City where a doctor could read them so there would be a bit of a wait. 3 hours later, mom called me and said the news was bad. There was a 6cm mass on dad's kidney and a 2cm mass on his pancreas. They were heading home but coming in for more tests the next day. Well long story short, a week later mom and dad, accompanied by his little sister, Pat and her husband Tom were up at Mayo Clinic in Rochester. After a biopsy and bone scan, it was confirmed that he has Renal Cell Carcinoma. The bone scan revealed something suspect on his head as well. They were sent home for two weeks.

This pretty much brings you up to date. We are still in the early stages of diagnosis. He and Mom will be having some more scans done on Tuesday and Wednesday this week - including a more in depth look at his pancreas. Wednesday, my sister Erin and I will be meeting with my parents and their doctors to discuss the diagnosis, staging and treatment options.